Let me preface this blog by explaining the mood I was in prior to talking with daughter.  I realize my college courses were fairly easy compared to what some of you are doing out there.  I found out a woman on another forum just finished her masters, and it made me feel kind of stupid for making a big deal out of my first semester.  But you know, sometimes the toughest part is getting started! 

So anyway.  I'm feeling a sense of freedom since school doesn't start again until Jan 9th.  And I hadn't done a lick of Christmas Shopping.  I mean nada.  Well, I take that back, I had bought one present.  Anyway, so I sat down at my computer on this past Friday night (Dec. 16) and did alot of online shopping.  I work at a church also in the worship department, which means this time of year is reallllllly hairy.  You know what I mean, Christmas cantatas, extra worship services, parties, bla bla bla.  So work has been particularly intense also. 

The gist of this is that I had more than my share of White Zin.  For whatever reason, hubby went to bed early.  Daughter (18 turns 19 in January) came home from work.  I was feeling mellow so went into her room to chat.  I mean honestly I wasn't looking for heavy conversation.  I just wanted to hang out with her.  She and I have a phenomenal relationship and we share alot of stuff.  We have the same sense of humor (she loves Monty Python!) 

I don't know why this happened.  Probably the wine, which even in her bed I was still embibing in.  But I told her the story of the first time I had sex.  I was sixteen.  Hubby was sixteen.  Mom and Dad were at work.  It was after a day of high school.  We were in my brother's old bedroom.  Long story.  My DAD walks in!  This is the very first time I have ever had sex.  Well, actually the act hadn't actually occured but we were in a compromising position of half naked state. 

My daughter about died laughing. 

At the time, 28 something years ago, I thought my dad was going to kill the both of us.  He actually just walked out of the room and closed the door.  I jumped out of bed yelling, "I'm dead.  I'm dead.  I'm dead."  Hubby (then boyfriend) just plowed himself into his clothing and ran away.  To say I was on restriction for like eternity is an understatement.

Anyway, so I confessed this thing to my daughter.  She immediately confesses she is no longer a virgin.

~pregnant pause~

Okay, I know in this day and age that the fact she has already lost her virginity at the age of 18 should not be any great revelation.  In fact, I'm not stupid.  I had sex when I was 16 for God's sake.  But I am naïve. 

I raised both my children in the church.  I have been blatant about explaining that sex is something you don't freely pass out.  It is to be shared with someone special.  I've promoted abstinence, but also made sure they were aware of the dangers of sex without condoms.  I'm religeous.  Not stupid.

I honestly believe my oldest child (son) made it to the age of 22.  But he was kind of a nerd.  The girl he had sex with and is now having sex with, I believe he is going to marry.  I know this seems archaic but it is important to me to know that the girl he lost his virginity to and is having wild monky sex with is the one he intends to marry.  It doesn't mean they are going to marry, but it means he takes the sex act seriously.

So back to daughter.  She tells me the first guy she did it with was an old boyfriend.  It was in the heat of the moment.  He was on the rebound.  I think she'd never quite gotten over him.  They did it.  Then they parted ways.  She indicated she was hurt that he sloughed her off after that.  But I couldn't help but think.... "OH MY GOD... you gave your virginity to a guy you weren't sure you'd ever see again?????????"  Of course I didn't say that to her.  Sheesh.  It was over a year and a half ago.  What do you do about spilled milk?

So then she proceeds to tell me that she is having sex with her current boyfriend.  I like current boyfriend, don't get me wrong, but ... he's 23 to her 18/19.  He doesn't have a job.  He lives with his mother.  His mom and dad are married, but Dad travels alot, and when he is home he sleeps in a separate room from mom.  To me, boyfriend is a deadbeat.  I'm hearing daughter make noises about things that annoy her about him.  And I'm thinking, GOOD... usually noises means she'll break up soon.  At least that is how it has been in the past. 

So here I am.  The mom that tauted abstinence.  To say I was in shock ... Good grief.  Of course I maintained my cool.  If you get all wigged out, your kids won't keep talking.  She talked plenty.  I suggested if she was going to continue her current course of action, it would be a good idea to get on the pill. 

Okay, now HERE is a major issue.  So she gets on the pill.  She doesn't want to be pregnant.  But boy, from the way she describes it, she REALLLLLLY likes sex.  She told me she is not certain she EVER wants to have children.  Okay... so anyway I tell her we need to make an appointment for her to get on the pill.  I told her it would help with her zits.   Man I felt stupid! 

Here is the thing.  I told her that just because she is on the pill does not mean she should stop using condoms.  STD's, AIDS, you know.   I don't know where this boyfriend has been and how many women he's had sex with.

I'd like to think I handled this well.  I think she has been trying to tell me about this for a few months now.  When she had the chances before, I think she backed out.    So I'm the good mom who didn't jump her case but is now mulling this over.  I frankly don't like it, but I'm not going to stop her.  Heck, do you think just because I was on restriction because I got caught, I stopped?  ROFLMAO.  If there is a will there is a way.  And apparently her will is strong.

If my husband found out, he'd have a heart attack and die.

And my daughter is so ADD that if I get her on the pill, she'll leave the damn things out and he'll find them.

This has been a funky weekend.