I've always felt like kind of a schlep.  I didn't do very well in high school.  Well, I take that back.  If it was a right brained activity, I did very well.  I skipped biology 10 times and still made an A in the course, because I find the human body facinating.  But math?  For get it!

My mother made me enroll in our local community college before I finished high school.   I'd earned my credits to graduate high school early.  Go figure since I thought I was a lousey student.  I think Mom was afraid I wouldn't go to college, so she forced me into duel enrollment.  I hated it.  And, naturally I failed. Well, I didn't fail... I just dropped out.  She didn't know it. Immediately after high school,  I moved in with my then boy friend, now husband.  Mom and Dad hated that!  After six months, I ended up moving back in with Mom and Dad... big blow up with hubby's dad who we were renting our apartment from.

It was too late to start a semester at the local community college so I goofed around mom and dad's house for a few months until the winter semester started.  Actually, I cooked, cleaned, did the laundry and grocery shopped, but I digress.   I had a better attitude about college this time around.  In fact, I was seriously considering my relationship with boyfriend now hubby... thinking it was a dead end and I needed to move on.  I was going to make something of myself, despite the fact I had a poor self image.

I guess you can call it fate, kismet, or just call it stupidity.  Just prior to enrolling in my courses, I got pregnate by boyfriend/hubby.  I had spent a month up at my sister's house in Greenville, SC.  I missed him terribly.  I missed sex terribly.  My son was conceived in a half built house, three down from the house my mom and dad were building at the time. 

I might have made an A in biology but it took me a while to figure out I was pregnant.  Talk about angst!  Should I abort, should I not.  Telling my parents.  Making decisions after I decided not to abort... bla bla bla.  So we decided to get married.  Hubby and I barely had a pot to pee in.  He'd just started working at a local utilities company.  We didn't have insurance.  There was no decision except for me to quit school and work full time.  And, I never told my mother.

So a cool thing happened this fall.  My daughter just graduated high school.  We've prepaid her college... 2 years at the local college, then 2 years at any state college.  Well, the cool thing is that our local community college is now a four year college.  They took the junior out of college.

Like her mom, my daughter wanted to take a break.  Like my mom, I encouraged her to enroll.  But not only that, I began looking at courses.  I began to think, hey... I can to THAT!  So I enrolled, too.  I decided to take at least one course that was the same as daughter so we could encourage one another.  

So what course do I have to start out with?  The course which is the bain of my existance.  Pre-algebra. 

When I took the entrance exam, my scores for composition were off the chart.  My math scores were... yuck. 

So I was freaking out... taking college courses again after 25 years.  The first few chapters of pre-algebra had me in tears.  One night I just lay in bed and sobbed.  Daughter came home from work and slipped into bed next to me, told me everything was going to be okay.  I woke up the next morning and finished the chapter with flying colors. 

Through out the sememster I've been sweating bullets.  This time around is different than before.  Before, parents were paying for my courses.  Now, I have a student loan, and if I don't pass the course I am penalized with a fine!  It sure does make you try harder.  I figured that if I at least passed my courses with a D, I'd be happy. 

Well, I took my final exam for pre-algebra yesterday.  I am on the cusp of an A... the verdict is still out.  I took the final for Art History II this A.M. and am also on the cusp of an A.  I'm just waiting for the grade on my essay for the final grade. 

To say the least, I'm grinning from ear to ear! 

The best part is a break between now and January 9th when classes start again.  I need the rest.  But the other side of the coin is that I'm looking forward to the next semester because I KNOW I can do this!