My husband's mother, or my mother-in-law, was diagnosed with a brain tumor, lung cancer, and lymph cancer at the end of December 2006. She did April 13, 2007.

I've noticed when hubby is focused on other areas of his life, he doesn't have time to hyper-focus (anxiety attacks or paranoid ideations) on me.

Her dying was a strange mixed blessing. While her rapid decline brought on hard emotional grieving for me, I also got a reprieve from his constant fixation, because instead he was fixated on his mother dying. Also, because of the stress it was causing him, he finally agreed to a Seratonin re-uptake inhibitor.

It is over a month now since she died, and things are beginning to settle. He still has some work with the estate, but for the most part we are back to normal. ... If you can call her ashes sitting on a shelf of my china cabinet normal. Not that I mind, you see. I seem to be the only one that wants them.

I kept wondering when the other shoe would drop. He was so good for so long, it almost felt like our relationship was normal for once. He is starting up again though. Waking up at 3:00 AM and wanting to talk. Talking about being separated from me when he is working.

Here is a really funny (strange not ha ha) thing. In February, I started working for a place that rehabs folks with severe mental illnesses back into the workplace. The premise behind the agency is awesome, but has nothing to do with this post. How this relates is that so many of the traits which are exhibted in the clients we serve, are also traits exhibited in my husband. Paranoia and major anxiety. Maybe he needs more than a simple SSRI.