1. Being a stay at home mom is great for raising children. It is not great for your resume. Unfortunately those in the corporate world don't shiv' a get.

2. When you are filling out a job application and you are asked why you left your previous jobs, don't say pay increase. It makes a prospective employer think you might actually like a better salary. DOH!

3. When in a job interview don't say you are willing to do anything as part of your job description. You will be expected to do everything, including cleaning toilets and other people's work.

4. Never and I repeat..... NEVER work at a church. If you work at a church and try to break back out into the corporate world, it is naturally assumed that you had a cushy job working in a church, oooooorrrrrrrrrr worse.... that if another employee at your new place of employment acts politically incorrect, then obviously you'll scream until your head pops off, and then file a claim with the EOCC. Seriously, what do I need to do? Curse during the job interview, or tell an off color joke to convince people I’m not overly sensitive?

5. Okay, how to phrase this one. There is a job I really want, and the corporation is majorly dragging their feet. A good friend suggested that I call and let them know I've been offered a job with another company and therefore, could they let me know where I stand. It is the complete truth. I WAS offered another job. But, I REALLY wanted THAT job! When I called, the lady I interviewed with suggested I take the other job.... but .... I was still in the running with her company! WTF!?! But, I want that job!!!. Why is it when I follow someone’s advice it always turns around and bites me in the butt? Now they think I’m playing some game. I’m not!

6. When you wake up at 2:00 AM and your head is spinning with the interviews you've had and how much you hate the place for which you currently work, don't despair. Tell yourself to think about it in the morning, and try to go back to sleep. Then after you haven't slept from 2:00 AM to 5:00 AM, drag yourself out of bed and get ready for the job you despise.

7. Yeah... you are the only person at your current job who has to share an office with someone else, and yeah he's kind of weird in so many ways. But he's not Hannibal Lector. He just tries to shove his religion down your throat, and makes jokes that really aren't funny, then wonders why you don't laugh. Just take a deep breath, let it out, breath in again, and promise not to throw a chair through the nearest window to escape. You still need that job to make ends meet, even though you are in the interview process.

8. Imagining ways to snuff out the people you currently work with is not a real good idea, especially if you begin collecting materials to create a bomb. Yes you want interviews, but not with a nice detective from the FBI.

9. When feeling defeated, send your resume to every freakin’ office in the world. Yeah, so you don’t want to work in outer east Mongolia for 5 cents a day. But if they call you for an interview, it might make you feel better.

10. If all else fails, pray. Remember, Philippeans 4:4-7 4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

My son recently married in Bolivia. My son has always been a kind of oddball, so if it seems strange that he got married in Bolivia... it is kind of strange and the story itself is one of those Kismet things.

This blog post is not about my son getting married. It is about a decision I made in December that after we got back from the wedding I was going to see a lawyer about a divorce.

From the moment dear hubby found out that the wedding was going to be in Bolivia and that we were going, he has made my life a living hell. I told him on several occassions that he DID NOT HAVE TO GO! I honestly believe it made him happier to complain (soap opera syndrom). So literally from Mother's Day (when my son and his fiance made the announcement) to this day, I've had to hear him complain. I think he actually thought if he complained enough that I wouldn't go. I've discovered that when he doesn't want me to do something he harangues me until I don't. But, come hell or high water, I was going to my first born's wedding!

My husband always has to have a crisis in his life. There is no such thing as contentedness. I guess I should be happy that the wedding took his mind off my past affair. At least he stopped bitching at me about something that took place four years ago.

So the decision was made to see a divorce attorney when I came back from Bolivia after the new year, mostly to get the low down and start getting my ducks in a row.

Just before Christmas, my mom in law was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She implored us to go to Bolivia for the wedding despite the diagnosis. While there, we found out she has cancer on her lung, and when we arrived back we found out the cancer is in her lymph nodes.

I'm not stupid. I'm 45. I know what this means. I also know that I am not so inhumane as to start divorce proceedings while my husband goes through the trauma of his mother dying.

While in Bolivia, I caught the "crud". A bad cold and Montezumma's revenge. So I've been going to bed early every night. Last night I went to bed at 8:00 PM. He came to bed at 10:00 PM and started this weird conversation. He can see me in his head like I was as a little girl. I told him that was nice but I don't like being treated like a little girl. He had to audacity to tell me that I make poor choices and therefore he has to treat me like one.

My response was that he NEVER has the right to treat me like a child.

This is the triangle, folks. Hubby = persecutor, Me = Victim, we both traverse the rescuer line. Except that I've jumped off the triangle and now he has no one to persecute, and I won't let him be the victim. It makes him very unhappy, and so he just tries harder.

What a fucked up life this is.

I've been thinking of so much lately... it is almost what to post first. 10 anything.... like 10 church, 10 work, 10 drama team.

How bout this.... 10 ways to end your life.

Do you know if you go out on the Internet you can find 1000 ways to end your life? I've had the perfect plan.

When you think about ending your life, you don't want it to be messy. That means that your family cannot find you. You don't want to down pills because ... you throw up! You don't want to slit your wrists in the bathtub because .... well yuck... someone finds you. Besides the fact that ... that hurts.

We have a famous bridge near us... the Sunshine Skyway. Because it is so high, it is known for the bridge where people go and jump to die. Sometimes they don't die. That sounds so extreme! I know vicariously about a woman who jumped. She died. I also know about a man who jumped twice and lived. Then killed himself another way.

I'm sort of sad now. Not in the way of a person who is ready to end it all, but when I get sad, I have suicidal ideations. I've learned how to deal with it. First of all is not letting yourself fall in a pit. Once in the pit getting out is hard.

So, I was thinking I'm fucking sick of this life. I know how to end it painlessly and away from family so they don't have to find me. Of course, someone will find me, but when you are in this frame of mind you don't think about strangers.

My son's wedding is coming up in December. It is my greatest joy and the bain of my existance. We ---- that being hubby and I ---- have to travel out of country for the nuptials. He is royally pissed. His whole life revolves around how other people dictate what he has to do. I've told him he doesn't have to go. He insists on going and on being miserable.

I can't control him. I can only control me. His behavior sends me off the deep end. I have to yank myself back up again.

As yucky as this time of my life might be, I tell myself (self talk) that nothing is going to stand in the way of me seeing my first born wed. I love him, and I love his fiance.

Hubby tries a million ways to bring me down. All of my days are spent fighting off his negativity. It is wearying. Honestly, I think that is how I feel the most.... just weary. That is the reason the "end it all" stuff creeps in.

I'm so tired of being weary, and having to fight weary.

Maybe that is the human spirit that God puts in each one of us. Keep fighting.

I was sitting in the lunch room yesterday at work and listening to how folks were planning to pick their candidates on 11/7. There is a controversy here over a candidate who took out billboard advertisements that were deemed too large, and he received a warning to take them down. The newspaper blew it up into a huge ordeal. So now people are saying they won't vote for him.... Good God! This blows my mind. We have candidates doing way worse than putting up too large of billboards!!!!!!!!! HELLO! Wake up!!!!!!!!! Are you in there McFly?

I am so sick of the media telling us how to vote. Why can't we be strong and figure things out for ourselves, rather than be told by the media how to do it? Name me one media source that is not skewed in one direction or another! Seriously, no one just reports anymore, they ALL have an agenda! Nothing is EVER equal in the news.

Several years ago I gave up the newspaper. The radio in my car died in February due to a horrible storm. I catch the news on T.V. rarely. Most of my news comes from the Internet, and even that is intermittent. Guess what. I don't feel uninformed. There ARE ways of knowing things without buying into media crap!!!!

I am as sick of the news in all forms as I am as sick of candidates slinging dung. It makes me not want to vote, which might be someone's plan. If I am so turned off but all this BS, then I don't vote and they win.

I'll vote. I take my American rights seriously. This just so pisses me off!

I just heard news this morning that a young man, who had been on my drama team at church, OD'd yesterday and died. I don't know if he commited suicide, or just over dosed.

I took an integral part as an adult youth leader in youth group, and knew this boy and his family well. He was in the same grade as my daughter, and attended the same high school. I often drove him and his sister home from Wednesday night drama rehearsal. I went on youth camping trips with him, and on other youth excursions.

A myriad of thoughts go through my head. "What must his mother be feeling." "Thank God is wasn't my daughter." Yeah that one made me feel super guilty. "What can I do to help the family?"

I thought about all the hub bub about the war in Iraq , and somehow in the scheme of things, some things just really don't matter at a time like this.

When I first heard the news from my daughter this morning, I was in shock. Then I had a 20 minute drive to work alone to just think about it. To think about this young man... 18 or 19 years old. All the potential in his life, how funny he could be at times, and how exasperating!

His sister told a funny story about how she was home alone watching a scary movie, or so she thought she was alone. He came out of the kitchen with a big knife and she screamed and screamed. They laughed about it later.

I remember attending his father's funeral when his dad suddenly died of a heart attack three years ago. I remember how devastating it was for him and his sisters.

We go through our little lives and complain about the stupidist stuff. It is at times like these when I think about what really is important in my life.

RIP Cory.